How to Prevent Bullying: Creating a Safe and Inclusive Environment

By Shelby Nace, LMSW

A few years ago, when I was working as a social worker in schools, I was stunned by the damage bullying was causing to kids' mental health.

The pandemic was still raging, and the issue was taking on new forms that educators weren’t yet prepared to contend with – in school as physical and verbal abuse, online with cyberbullying, and even at home between siblings and relatives. 
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The horrible truth is that bullying can have lasting effects on both the victim and the bully, and many adults have a hard time seeing the seriousness of its effects. Since October is National Bullying Prevention Month, I want to share my perspective from the frontlines to help spread awareness about this issue.

Understanding the Roots of Bullying

Kids often bully because they desire control, were bullied themselves, or a combination of both. A child who bullies may be trying to fit in with a certain group, dealing with their own insecurities, or struggling with problems at home. 

While that’s not an excuse for bullying behavior, understanding and empathizing with the root issues will go much farther than punishment. Recognizing the warning signs of bullying behavior like aggression, intimidating peers, and frequent conflicts can also help adults intervene early. 

Strategies for Preventing Bullying

1. Promote Empathy and Kindness: Teaching empathy from an early age helps kids understand others’ feelings. Schools and parents can use empathy-building activities like reading stories about diverse experiences, discussing feelings, or role-playing scenarios. 
   1. Modeling kind behavior is also essential. When children see adults treating others with care, even in difficult situations, they learn to do the same. Next time you’re in public, and someone does something rude to you in front of your child, try asking out loud, “I wonder what happened to make them feel so upset?”
2. Foster Open Communication: Creating an environment where children feel safe to express their feelings is key. Both at home and in school, adults should listen actively and validate children’s feelings, showing that they are taken seriously. 
   1. Open lines of communication help children feel supported and less isolated. At the end of the school day, try asking them “What was one nice thing that happened today? Anything not so nice?”
3. Set Clear Rules and Logical Consequences: Having clear anti-bullying policies that are consistently reinforced is crucial. Children should know what behaviors are unacceptable and the consequences. This creates a sense of safety and order, making it clear that bullying is not tolerated. The National Child Traumatic Stress Network has a wealth of resources available to help parents and educators develop trauma-informed policies and logical consequences around bullying. 
   1. For example, if you begin to notice bullying behavior in a child, talk to them about the underlying feelings first, when they are ready, and then ask them how they’d feel in the same situation. Encourage kids to apologize in their own ways, giving some voice and choice in the situation. 
4. Encourage Positive Peer Relationships: Positive peer relationships insulate against bullying. Encourage teamwork through group projects or sports. Teach children to support each other and to stand up for peers who may be targeted by bullies. Recognizing and rewarding positive behavior can also reinforce a supportive and inclusive environment.
    
5. Educate About Digital Citizenship: With the rise of technology, cyberbullying has become a big issue. Parents should be aware of the technologies that their children are  using, and set limits with internet usage. Teach children about appropriate and respectful online behavior and the consequences of cyberbullying. Encourage children to report online bullying and provide support to those who experience it. StopBullying.gov has frequently updated lists of popular websites that kids use, as well as tips on how to talk to children about cyberbullying. Other resources for parents include ScreenSanity.org and Common Sense Media. 

The Role of Parents, Educators, and the CommunityPreventing (and stopping) bullying is a shared responsibility between parents, educators, and the community. We are all at fault if a child feels unsafe. 

• Parents should talk openly with their children about bullying, be aware of their child’s friends, and watch for (even subtle) changes in behavior.
• Educators can implement comprehensive anti-bullying programs, create a positive school culture, and intervene at the first signs of bullying.
• Communities can support these efforts by promoting awareness campaigns, providing resources, and fostering an environment where all children feel safe and valued.

So, yes, I've seen the profound, lasting impacts bullying can have. But I've also seen how preventable it is when we work together with empathy and set clear expectations.
By understanding the roots of bullying, promoting kindness, fostering open communication, setting limits, and staying aware, we can create safer, more inclusive environments for every child to thrive. 

It takes all of us to stand against bullying and support every child’s right to feel safe and respected. Let's all do our part to make a difference this October.
Shelby Nace is a licensed social worker with KC Healthy Kids and self-described “big feelings person.” She is passionate about building strong bonds among families. Shelby hosts a monthly community story time at PH Coffee to help young children explore and understand their feelings.