 By Shelby Nace, LMSW
The holidays are upon us! For many families, this means a much-needed break to spend quality time with those we love the most. But for others, it brings disrupted routines, family tension, tight budgets, and STRESS. The holidays can get very stressful, especially when navigating them with young kids. As a social worker, many parents tell me they want to make the season special for their kids. But sometimes, even with the best intentions, their focus can become narrow and their own stress gets in the way of meaningful moments. Here are a few tips for managing holiday transitions and helping the whole family enjoy this time. Decide Now Which Family Traditions Really Matter Before we get wrapped up in the holiday season, sit down as a family to discuss which holiday traditions hold the most meaning to each of you. We often preserve traditions simply out of habit, but find in the moment that they no longer add value to our lives, or hold fond memories. Does your great aunt’s complicated Jell-O salad really enhance Thanksgiving? Or is picking out a real Christmas tree important because it reminds you of childhood? There’s no judgment – just decide ahead of time which traditions stick around and which don’t make the cut. Focus on building new ones or keeping old ones that bring the family together in mindful ways, without adding too much stress. Schedule Downtime and Don’t Overcommit As fun as it is seeing loved ones, we tend to overcommit during the holidays. Try scheduling at least a couple days just for rest and self-care. Maybe this even becomes one of your new traditions! Remember, it's the small, simple moments that create the strongest memories – savoring hot chocolate together, sharing a laugh, or just cuddling on the couch. Take time to slow down and truly experience these low-key moments as a family. Set Firm Boundaries Ahead of Time We may want everyone to have a great time, but setting clear boundaries with extended family can help reduce stress. Think about potential tension points and address them proactively. For example, if certain family members tend to comment on your parenting or bring up sensitive topics, ask them kindly to avoid those topics. You could say, “We’re really looking forward to our visit, but I’d appreciate it if we could avoid conversations about discipline or bedtime routines.” Another area to consider is your child’s personal boundaries. If your child feels uncomfortable with hugs or kisses from relatives, let family know you’re teaching them about consent and autonomy. Offer alternatives like high-fives or waves to keep things friendly without forcing physical contact. Setting these expectations ahead of time creates a smoother experience for all, keeping the focus on togetherness and respect. Prioritize Presence Over Presents In the rush to make everything "perfect," it's easy to fixate on gift-giving. But children will remember quality time with you more than the number of presents they receive. Instead of stressing over gifts, prioritize being fully present. This could mean baking cookies together, reading a holiday story before bed, going for a winter walk, or letting them help decorate the house. These small moments create lasting memories and family connection. They also reduce financial and environmental stress, teaching kids that the holidays are about love, kindness, and connection, not material things. Model Self-Care and Emotional Awareness Holidays can bring up intense emotions, and kids pick up on so much more than we realize. One of the most meaningful gifts you can give your children during the holiday season is modeling self-care and emotional awareness. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, take a breath and ground yourself. Don’t be afraid to talk to your kids about managing emotions in an age-appropriate way. You could say something like: “I’m feeling stressed with so much going on. I’m going to take some deep breaths to feel better.” Kids learn by observing, so if they see you handling stress in a healthy way, they’re more likely to adopt those habits themselves. Don’t hesitate to ask friends, family or even a mental health professional for help if you need it. Self-care isn’t selfish, it’s essential, especially during busy seasons. Find Joy in Simple Moments Make an effort to let go of unrealistic expectations. If things don’t go perfectly, that’s okay! Laugh off the mishaps and find joy in the reality of the season. The holidays are for connecting, reflecting, and growing together as a family. Embrace the imperfections and focus on creating memories filled with love, laughter, and genuine connection. This holiday, create a peaceful, joyful experience for your family by emphasizing quality time, self-care, and clear communication. Prioritize meaningful traditions, set boundaries, be present, and model emotional awareness. You’re not only making the holidays more enjoyable, but teaching valuable lifelong lessons to your children. From the Mental Health team at KC Healthy Kids, including Dr. Nancy Osborn and myself, we wish you a joyful holiday season filled with connection and celebration! Shelby Nace is a licensed social worker with KC Healthy Kids and self-described “big feelings person.” She is passionate about building strong bonds among families. Shelby hosts a monthly community story time at PH Coffee to help young children explore and understand their feelings. Comments are closed.
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