By Shelby Nace, LMSW
 
Are you finding yourself feeling on edge around your kids, counting the days until school starts?
 
As a social worker, I often see the signs when I interact with parents. During the monthly story time I host at a local KCMO coffee shop, parents frequently come up afterward and say “Thank you for doing this.” But I can see in their eyes that they really mean “Thank you for giving me a little break.”
 
For many families, August means summer school programs, sleep-away camps, and other structured activities have ended, leaving kids at home without much to do. Your kids may be feeling more dysregulated than usual, leading to frequent tantrums and other big behaviors. All of which leaves parents feeling burned out, and unsure how to manage emotions or prepare for the school year ahead.
 
While there is no “one size fits all” solution to supporting kids' emotional well-being at times like these, here are a few tips I find myself recommending to parents frequently during this transition.
 
Embrace Open Communication
 
In the hustle and bustle of daily life, we often forget to ask our kids for their input on much of anything. We tend to structure their lives based on what we believe they need to succeed. As a result, we’re missing out on opportunities to tap into kids' growth. Take the time to really see them, by being curious and allowing them to be their authentic, individual self.
 
Try slowing down and checking in with the entire family. Plan an evening where everyone has dinner together. You can make it a fun, interactive meal that everyone prepares together, or visit a family favorite restaurant (to cut down on the stress of doing dishes!). 
 
With minimal distractions, ask every family member to share how they are feeling about their summer and approaching school year.
 
Some open-ended questions to try:
 
●      What has been the best part of summer so far?
●      What is something you’d like to do before summer ends?
●      How are you feeling about school starting?
●      Is there anything we can do to help you feel more prepared for the school year?
 
The answers to these questions may spark discussions about how to proceed for the remaining weeks of the summer. Your child may even feel more empowered because they were part of the decision-making process.
 
Reset with Calming Routines
 
Let’s face it. We all get grumpy from time to time. Especially in the stifling heat. Couple that with excess noise, too much screen time, and minimal routines and you’ve got a recipe for overstimulation.
 
Overstimulation happens when a kid or parent is overwhelmed by excessive sensory input. This can result from too many sights, sounds, smells, tastes, or physical sensations happening simultaneously. Or from activities that demand intense focus and energy (like, working from home while taking care of the kids!).
 
We can combat overstimulation by first recognizing when we may be feeling overwhelmed (for some parents, this might be a lot of the time!) and helping our children recognize it in themselves.
 
Once we can recognize this sense of overwhelm, we can build in coping techniques, like frequent sensory breaks, or even just a couple of deep breaths to reset our nervous system.
 
Spark Their Creativity
 
The school year provides kids with opportunities for creative expression. But in the summer, they may not have many outlets.
 
When children have freedom to express themselves through art, music, dance, journaling, and imaginative play, they feel better able to manage their emotions.
 
As adults, we may think that our role is simply to provide the tools for creativity (art supplies, toys, music, etc.). You can also view it as an opportunity to connect and show interest in your child’s thought processes, ultimately helping them build self-confidence.
 
So settle in, ask questions, and encourage your child to share their ideas with others. When your child has created something, praise their efforts, and display their work proudly.
 
Give Them Security With Consistency
 
We’ve heard it a million times: “children need routines.”
 
And while, yes, consistency is important to helping children feel safe, there’s a balance to strike. Many parents take advice about structure too far and wind up being overscheduled and desperately seeking a break from routine.
 
You’ll know best where to strike that balance for your family. When routines get disrupted, see it as an opportunity for building resilience, rather than a challenge.
 
Again, while routines can help our kids feel safe, what helps them more is having an adult who will respond consistently to meet their emotional needs. Prepare your child by giving them notice of changes in advance, staying calm, and validating when big feelings happen.
 
To prepare for school, encourage your family to “practice” routines a week or so before school starts. Plan to wake up at routine times and prepare to leave the house, but instead of heading to school or work, go for a family hike! That way, you’ll get ahead of any potential hiccups and work through them before the first day.
 
Ground Them In Nurturing Connection
 
The more connected you are with your child, the easier all of the above will be! Yes, I can list tips and tricks to help manage a child’s emotional regulation. But the truth is you are the expert on your child. The best advice I could give is to work on having a healthy relationship with them. When your child feels safe to express big feelings because you are there to support them, you’re creating the foundation of emotional regulation.
 
If you are feeling burned out by late summer, know that you are not alone. Supporting your child's emotional well-being is challenging, but you are already equipped with all the tools you need. Get back to the basics with open communication, calming resets, outlets for creativity, a balanced routine, and above all, a nurturing connection that makes space for your child to be their full, authentic self.
 
Shelby Nace is a licensed social worker with KC Healthy Kids and self-described “big feelings person.” She is passionate about building strong bonds among families. Shelby hosts a monthly community story time at PH Coffee to help young children explore and understand their feelings.

Shelby Nace, social worker at KC Healthy Kids, hosts a monthly story time at PH Coffee to help young children explore and understand their feelings. Each month, she shares a book from the series “A Little Spot of Emotion," by Diane Alber. The books help teach kids how to navigate emotions in a fun and relatable way.
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"It's never too early for to start talking to kids about mental health," Shelby says. "These social-emotional focused book titles help children (and adults) build their emotional vocabularies and learn important skills such as empathy, self-awareness, and problem-solving, laying a strong foundation for their later development."

Join Shelby at PH Coffee (2200 Lexington Ave, KCMO) at 10 a.m. on the following Mondays: June 10, July 15, August 12, September 16 and October 21. Children must be accompanied by an adult. Families receive a free book while supplies last. For questions, please email Shelby Nace, LMSW.

Want to help more kids and families learn about their emotions? Shop Shelby's Amazon wish list so she won't run out of books to send home with them. 

By Shelby Mocherman, LMSW, KC Healthy Kids

Mindful eating is a habit that can help kids and adults slow down and listen to their bodies. Listening to our bodies helps us know when our bellies feel full or if they are "out of fuel." It also helps us better understand what types of foods our bodies like and need. Mindful eating can encourage kids to develop lifelong healthy eating habits, focus , and emotional regulation when practiced regularly.
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In his 2017 article, Mindful Eating: The Art of Presence While You Eat, Joseph B. Nelson says mindful eating means using all of our five senses and paying attention to our food on purpose, moment by moment, and without judgment. 

How Do We Practice Mindful Eating?
To practice mindful eating, we can think about where our food comes from (source) and explore each of our senses (sound, sights, touch, smell, taste), while eating purposefully. Try asking these questions at snack or meal times. 

Source: Encourage kids to think about where their food comes from. (Think about how the food got from the farm to our plate. Imagine who put the seed in the ground and made sure it got the water and sun it needed.)

Sound: What does it sound like when we are preparing this food? Is our food making any sounds before we get ready to eat? (Think "sizzles in the pan.")

Sight: What does the food look like? What colors and shapes do we see? (Maybe a purple eggplant with flecks of white.)

Touch: How does this food feel in our hands? What is the texture of this food? Before chewing, how does this food feel on our tongue? (Such as a piece of lettuce that feels cold and crunchy.)

Smell: What does our food smell like? Is it a familiar smell, or a new smell? (Something smells sweet, like warm spices!)

​Taste: How does this food taste? Does the taste change as you chew it? What happens in your body as you eat the food? (At first it tastes salty, but perhaps there is a bitter after taste.)

These kinds of serve-and-return interactions have a positive impact that can last a lifetime. 

Photos: Kids tried sweet pea shoots and rustic bread during a mindful eating activity at the Eat Local & Organic Expo in April. 

In March 2021, due to COVID restrictions, we offered an online workshop in place of the Champions for Health Youth Summit. The Jaleo Project was a 4-week flamenco dance and visual arts virtual workshop taught by artists Adrianne D. Clayton and Melinda Hedgecorth to help kids explore what happiness means in their communities.

Twenty-five Girls on the Run athletes took part, and 6 of the workshop videos were made public so anyone could learn the dance and make fans at home, at school or with their community group. 

Girls on the Run coach and elementary school teacher Rebecca Perkins explained what the project meant to her and her students. 

When school had to go 100% online during the pandemic, it was a challenging time for students. After nearly a year the kids were struggling with school work, with connecting to their friends, and they were missing the experience of recess. We did Girls on the Run virtually, but the kids wanted more; it was through that program that my school was partnered with KC Healthy Kids and introduced to The Jaleo Project. When we decided to do The Jaleo Project with the kids it provided a huge mental health benefit for the students. Students didn’t want to turn cameras on for school, but they did for this. The physical part was important too. It got them up and moving in a fun way. They even practiced beyond the organized times. It also supported parents, letting them see their kids doing something fun and active and happy. We heard from parents that they wanted to keep it going. 

KC Healthy Kids facilitated the connection and provided a turnkey option for the schools and teachers. There was a supply drop off for the kids to be able to create their fans for the dance. Kids really appreciated that their fans were being featured in a public setting on display. The women who led it did a fantastic job working with kids on their level. They were great and calming fears and nerves. If KC Healthy Kids offered this again, my kids would sign up in a heart-beat. Especially for an in person setting. They loved it. It was so much fun!
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Flamenco is a traditional style of dance in Spain. The audience often participates by yelling words of encouragement, like Olé!, to the performers. This is called jaleo, and in the workshop kids learn how jaleo is used to encourage flamenco performers, and how to recognize the ways they encourage themselves and each other. 
 
​The project culminated on the United Nations' International Day of Happiness, March 20, 2021, with a virtual celebration featuring a video dance performance.
 
Jaleo fans made by kids in the workshop and at Children's Mercy  were displayed at the hospital March through September of 2021 and were seen by thousands of people including children, employees, pediatric specialists, volunteers, and visitors to the hospital who travel from 46 states and 17 countries. Nearly half of care provided at Children's Mercy is paid for with Medicaid and other government assistance. 

The exhibit featured mini flamenco lessons, which people could access using a QR code, and KSHB-41 shared a story about it in their good news series, #WeSeeYouKC. You can see photos of the exhibit here. 

Want to be a part of KC Healthy Kids' Mental Health solution? Donate today

By Nancy Osborn, Ph.D., Psychologist/Trainer
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Early childhood education centers are among the hardest hit services during this current pandemic. Some have closed temporarily, and some have closed permanently. All of the centers have had to make major changes in their operations as they follow recommended guidelines for child care programs.  

There have also been major decreases in the number of children coming into the centers, either because of parents’ understandable concerns about COVID 19, or countless other stressors that they are facing such as unemployment, housing instability, etc.   

What makes these challenges particularly heartbreaking is that early childhood educators are still caring for our children, whether the children are there or not — they have compassion toward the children they care for and they, as many of us, are concerned about the children’s safety and their emotional and social development during this time. Early childhood educators remain engaged with the children and families.

Educating caregivers about trauma
KC Healthy Kids has received several grants, including one from Health Forward Foundation, to educate early childhood teachers and staff about trauma-informed care. Trauma-informed care is a perspective that educates people about how widespread trauma is, how trauma impacts people, and how to sensitively and safely approach others.

KC Healthy Kids’ trauma-informed care training began in February 2020, and it couldn’t have come at a more relevant time. It is important for early childhood educators to recognize that children and families have been significantly impacted by COVID-19 and to use trauma-sensitive principles to support children and their parents. 

Through our training, we demonstrate that challenging behavior may be a sign that a child has experienced trauma. They have been impacted by what has happened to them and have developed behaviors that help them cope or get their needs met. This can result in behaviors that are challenging to comprehend and, for early childhood educators in particular, to manage. If educators embody trauma-sensitive principles, they can show a child that the world is actually safer than he or she may believe.

Trauma-sensitive principles emphasize the importance of safety, trust through transparency, voice and choice, collaboration and empowerment. When people approach others with these principles in mind, it can lead to the development of healthy relationships. Developing healthy relationships is crucial in early childhood education (and any other kind of setting) and can lead to healing.

Another important facet of our trauma-informed care education is teaching self-care to caregivers. There is no doubt that early childhood educators are impacted by the trauma the children have experienced in their lives so it is particularly important that these teachers understand the impact of trauma, learn trauma-sensitive principles, and to take good care of themselves. 

It is also important for early childhood staff to recognize that they are impacted by all of the stressors that they may have experienced in their past as well as what they and their own families are experiencing now. Managing these stressors, recognizing when they are overwhelmed, and practicing good self-care will most likely help them make better decisions; keep their thoughts, behaviors, and emotions better regulated; and ultimately help them in their work, home, and personal lives. 

Education for families
Families that may have already experienced trauma are additionally burdened by the upheaval caused by the pandemic. Even families without a history of trauma are currently stressed by the new roles they have had to take on, in addition to following guidelines recommended by the CDC and the scientific community. This stress can certainly impact mental health, which can result in atypical behaviors for children and adults. 
Fortunately, through the grants KC Healthy Kids has received, parents will also have the opportunity to receive trauma-informed training and education. 

Get involved
Early childhood educators interested in this training can contact me directly at [email protected]. If parents have specific concerns about their child, they can contact their local community mental health center. See our list of Mental Health Resources

This post was originally published on Health Forward Foundation's blog in 2020 as part of a series.

By Nancy Osborn, Ph.D., Psychologist/Trainer
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The pandemic has brought  greater focus on the inequities that exist in our communities. 
It appears that the inequities are only getting worse. Many have lost their jobs and are facing mounting bills and crucial concerns about housing, food, and basic necessities.  

The more fortunate and privileged are now working from home but may still be stressed about maintaining their jobs and navigating a new structure and responsibilities in their home with remote learning.

With all these stressors, it is no wonder that news sources are reporting increasing mental health issues. 

The good news is that we can all stay centered and calmer if we first recognize that we are profoundly impacted by these life changes and then regularly participate in activities to care for ourselves.

One of the recommendations is for people to focus on their own self-care to help ease the daily stressors almost all of us are experiencing. Another recommendation could be made that we need to also focus on community self-care.

Most of us have likely heard that “we are all in this together,” which is moving in the direction of community self-care, but it is important for all of us to think about how we might intentionally take care of our communities.

Many people may not quite understand why self-care is so important, especially because it may seem selfish. There also may be some misunderstanding of what is meant by self-care since some people think of self-care as small luxuries we “treat” ourselves to like a manicure/pedicure.  

The true meaning of self-care
Someone said “true self-care is making a life that you don’t need to regulate or escape from.”

Self-care in this context includes remembering to eat as healthy as possible, getting enough sleep, getting moderate exercise, going to the doctor when necessary, and making time for some downtime if at all possible.  
We also obviously need to make time for breathing and spiritual practices and time to connect with others safely. It is the same principle espoused by flight attendants who tell passengers that they need to first put the oxygen mask on themselves and then   attend to  others. We have to focus on ourselves first to be able to take care of our responsibilities.  

Community self-care
Currently, and actually always, it is also important for us to think about community self-care. Let’s face it, we need each other.  

Our lives are fuller because we have each other so it is important that we take care of each other. So what are some ways we can do this?  

Right now one of the relatively small ways we can do this is to wear a mask, to keep physically distanced from others, wash our hands frequently, etc. as recommended by the CDC. This is a great example of individual and community self-care because it keeps us and others safe.  

Another way community self-care can be practiced is to challenge the inequities that have and are occurring. The easiest place to start is to listen to personal stories and learn from them. We can do what we can to ensure people have fresh food, or donate money or goods to nonprofits and agencies that serve our communities. We can also take an active interest in the governance of our communities by reading relevant news articles, watching live streams of city council meetings and education board meetings, and contacting our representatives. 
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It is crucial for us to think of how we can assist others in this challenging time. It is truly good self-care for us as individuals as well as for our communities to think about what each of us can do to help others.

This post was originally published on Health Forward Foundation's blog as part of a series.

By Nancy Osbrn, Ph.D., Psychologist/Trainer

The COVID-19 crisis has brought concerns for mental health issues to the forefront for almost everyone. However, one group that is often overlooked is the very young.
Often it is difficult for parents, child care providers, and other caregivers to realize that even preschoolers can meet the diagnostic criteria for certain mental health disorders. For many adults, it is hard to believe that children under the age of five can develop cases of clinical depression and clinical anxiety that require professional help.

So, how do you know if a young child needs help? 

It may be confusing to spot the difference between a normal response to the sudden changes we are all experiencing, and the more dramatic symptoms connected to a clinical illness. As a result of COVID-19, almost everyone is feeling more vulnerable, worried, and afraid. 

In the context of COVID-19, it is normal for preschoolers to exhibit anxiety or even depressed behavior because of the multitude of sudden changes to their routine and their environment. Right now, their parents may also exhibit a variety of emotions and they may express more frustration than normal from changes at work and home. Parental changes naturally impact a young child’s emotional status.

How can parents determine the difference between normal emotional reactions and a possible mental health disorder when nothing seems normal and everything seems changed?  

As with all clinical disorders, a professional diagnosis involves identifying a certain number of symptoms that are exhibited, understanding a certain length of time that the symptoms have persisted, and evaluating the degree in which an individual’s day-to-day functioning is impacted.  

During the pandemic, emotions run high and some people describe feeling like they are caught on a roller coaster of up-and-down emotions. The ability to function as usual is being impacted across age groups, but a definite external stressor is causing the situation. For most of us, feeling anxious, afraid, angry, frustrated, and many other emotions is a normal response that is easily explained. As long as individuals are generally able to function most of the time under these stressors, they would not meet the criteria for a mental health diagnosis. 

The same is true for preschoolers. Tantrums, withdrawal, and behavioral regression are an expected response to changes in environment, schedules, and routines. However, if your little one shows consistent tendencies to be anxious or depressed, you need to pay close attention.

Some symptoms associated with childhood anxiety and depression include (but are not limited to) the following:

• Headaches with no known cause
• Stomachaches with no known cause
• Crying a lot
• Worrying a lot
• Avoiding certain situations or places
• Avoiding social situations
• Having meltdowns, restlessness, and sleep issues

​If your child showed these tendencies prior to the pandemic and now you are observing even more significant concerning behaviors, it would be wise to get an evaluation. Early interventions can assist in improving developmental outcomes which leads to a better future for your child. 

In addition to the child’s health, pay attention to the health of your child’s caretaker — especially if that primary caretaker is you. Infants and young children are especially vulnerable because they have to rely on others to take care of them. Caretakers help influence how children respond to situations that occur in their lives. Children will show more resilience if their caretakers help them feel safe and pay attention to fulfilling the needs of their emotional and social development. 

What can caretakers do to help kids?

1. Focus on helping children feel nurtured and safe in their environment.   
2. Notice changes in the child’s behavior and ask how they feel.
3. When a child’s behavior is challenging, stay calm. It can be tempting to raise your voice and correct the child or provide immediate behavioral consequences. Instead, take a moment to explore why the child is doing what he or she is doing; figure out what may be behind the behavior. 
4. Use direct developmentally appropriate language to answer questions that children ask. Children may ask why parents are home or why people in stores are wearing masks. Just be honest with them, using simple language. Keep explanations short: “Mom is home because the office is closed today. Masks are important right now because people want to be healthy.” You do not need to talk about the virus because they may be oblivious to COVID-19. 
5. Manage your own stress. It can be difficult right now to stay calm because of all the worries people have related to COVID-19 and the changes that have abruptly upset regular life. Seek the help you need to process your worries so you are able to function for yourself and your children.
6. Validate feelings. Some children may be too young to identify their own feelings by name. Discovering names for their feelings can help them figure out what to do when they are angry or afraid. Feelings need to be validated and simple strategies need to be learned over time to help manage certain feelings — like taking a step back when angry or taking a deep breath before responding when mad.
7. Develop a routine of activities during the day and during the evening hours. Schedules and routines help people know what to expect and that can be comforting.
8. Include play time in the schedule. Play is a way young children express themselves and just as some adults need to process what is going on with other adults, children need to play for a variety of reasons.
9. Help children understand that they can count on you and tell you anything that might be concerning them.

​If any adult or child is so overwhelmed that their functioning has significantly decreased, an evaluation by a medical or mental health professional is recommended.  More resources are available through telehealth than ever before.

This article was originally published on Health Forward Foundation's blog.

​Why should I teach my child mindfulness? If you’re a parent who currently practices mindfulness, you already know the answer to this question. If you’re new to the practice, it might surprise you to learn there are many positive aspects of mindfulness.